Sense of Self: Reflect with Learners to Develop Purpose and Sense of Self
Assess Different
Sense of self needs more than "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
“What do you want to be when you grow up?” It’s a classic question but often puts kids in a box when thinking about their sense of self. Instead of sparking curiosity, it can limit their sense of possibility by focusing on a fixed future identity—one job, title, and narrow path.
But what if we asked a different question? What if we focused on helping kids explore their strengths, passions, and sense of purpose? By shifting the conversation from “what” to “why,” we encourage kids to see the bigger picture: their unique potential, how they want to contribute to the world, and the strengths they can use to get there.
Why purpose and sense of self matter
- Life is dynamic: Careers and industries are constantly evolving. The job a child imagines today may not exist in 20 years. Focusing on purpose helps kids develop adaptability and a clear sense of direction, no matter where life takes them.
- Purpose builds resilience: A strong sense of purpose equips kids to face challenges with grit and determination. Instead of tying their identity to a single outcome, they learn to see setbacks as part of the process of growing into who they want to become.
- Strengths unlock possibility: When kids focus on their strengths—whether it’s creativity, problem-solving, empathy, or leadership—they start to see how these skills can shape multiple paths, not just one.
How to foster purpose and strengths
Ask better questions:
These open-ended prompts allow kids to explore their evolving interests and values without pressure to commit to a specific future.
- “What are you curious about right now?
- “How do you like to help others?”
- “What strengths do you notice in yourself?”
Encourage reflection:
Help kids reflect on their experiences. Ask them to think about times when they felt proud, engaged, or excited. What were they doing? What strengths were they using? Reflection builds self-awareness and helps them connect their actions to a bigger purpose.
Celebrate growth:
Highlight progress in areas like confidence, creativity, or collaboration. When kids see how their strengths are developing, they gain clarity on how they can apply them in meaningful ways.
Model purpose-driven thinking:
Share stories of people who use their strengths to contribute in unique ways. These examples can inspire kids to see how their passions and skills can shape their own journey.
Shift the narrative
Instead of asking kids to define themselves by a future job title, we can empower them to think about who they are and how they want to impact the world. This shift moves the focus from doing to being—from achieving one narrow goal to embracing a lifetime of purpose-driven growth. The Rock by Rock seven life habits make a great place to begin. Introduce them with our Life Habit Introduction Kit by downloading below!
When kids understand their strengths and see how they can use them to explore their passions, they gain a sense of agency, confidence, and excitement about the future. And that’s far more valuable than any answer to the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Here are some tips to support reflection from Edutopia.
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